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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22735216">Not a normal ssssnake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexisriversong/pseuds/alexisriversong'>alexisriversong</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Magical Ineffable Parents [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adoption, First Meetings, Gen, M/M, Parselmouth Harry Potter, Parseltongue, Snake Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:53:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22735216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexisriversong/pseuds/alexisriversong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, Crowley is the snake in the zoo in the first Harry Potter movie. </p><p>No need to read anything else, just know that, in this fic, the ineffable husbands adopt Harry because they don’t like the Dursleys. Could be considered a prequel to "First Christmas"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Magical Ineffable Parents [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630150</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>COWT - Clash Of the Writing Titans/Chronicles Of Words and Trials</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not a normal ssssnake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the COWT challenge M1: crossovers</p><p>Written for my friend Gaia. </p><p>Inspired by<br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/bookmarks/445893847">this series</a><br/>here that started my imagination about this family! (I really loved the idea but it’s not the same verse! This one is mine and my friend’s)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry was walking around the zoo with Dudley and the Dursleys when he saw him. It caught his attention and he just had to get closer.</p><p>The snake was looking at him curiously and he could almost... Nah! The snake couldn't understand him. Weirder things had been happening since his seventh birthday though.</p><p>Dudley had been looking at the glass case and trying to make the snake do something, but got bored with it in the end.</p><p>"Sorry about him. He doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day after day, having people press their ugly faces in on you"</p><p>The snake nodded at him.</p><p>"Can you...hear me?" The snake nods. "It's just...I've never talked to a snake before. Do you...I mean...do you talk to people often?" The snake shook its head. "You're from Burma, aren't you? Was it nice there, do you miss your family?" The snake just did something of a shrug "I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents, either."</p><p>Them Dudley came running, calling his parents to see the snake moving and... Harry only remembered what everyone could tell. Once the glass was there and the next one, it wasn't and Dudley was falling in the tank.</p><p>The make slithered outside and looked at him. *<em>"Tttttthanksssss"</em>*</p><p>"Anytime" Really? Anytime? What was he thinking with that answer? Anyway, everyone was screaming, shouting "SNAKE!" And running away. It was chaos. In the middle of that chaos, a man with a trenchcoat and almost white hair came closer to him.</p><p>"Hello! Thanks for that! Been trying to get him out for a while. No one will ask you why you did it, they would have questioned me though. Your family seems angry at you though, I'm sorry" Harry turned to see a seething Vernon holding a disgruntled and soaked Dudley, trying to dry him off.</p><p>"Damn! It's going to be awful. I was told that nothing weird had to happen if I was to come with them"</p><p>"They don't seem like a good family at all"</p><p>"They are the only ones I've got"</p><p>"You should come with us. We'll try not to get in trouble with anyone anymore. Not much"</p><p>"I don't even know you" Vernon was coming towards him though and so... "I don't care. I'll come"</p><p>"Nice!" The man waved a hand and, suddenly, they were somewhere else. It looked like a library or a bookshop. Was that Soho outside the courtains?</p><p>"Where are we?"</p><p>"This is my book shop in Soho"</p><p>"Right. What are we doing here?"</p><p>"Other than escaping your family? Nothing, we can pass the time however you want"</p><p>It was then that they heard a hiss from behind and turned to see the snake getting in and turning into a human? At least it looked human. Ginger and lanky.</p><p>"Who are you?" Asked Harry, curious.</p><p>"We are an angel and a demon. But we both are the good guys. We even stopped the Apocalypse!"</p><p>"If you say so"</p><p>"You don't believe ussss?" The ginger guy was still kind of hissing but he seemed annoyed by the fact "sorry, I've been in snake form too long"</p><p>"Why were you in the tank?"</p><p>"He got caught trying to help snakes escape captivity and was taken instead because he is an idiot. Also he didn't want to transform there because he would have been questioned and exposed and we are not in a good place with Heaven or with Hell at the moment" answered the angel.</p><p>"All right. I'm glad I could be of help. Usually I get reprimanded if I do something weird. It's good to know there's someone weirder. Am I also like you?"</p><p>"What? You don't know?" The demon seemed puzzled.</p><p>"You are a wizard Harry" said the angel.</p><p>"That does explain a lot" nodded Harry thoughtfully "How do you know?"</p><p>They pointed at each other. "Angel" said one "demon" said the other like it was obvious they knew he was a wizard. Wich, okay, it kind of was.</p><p>They started at each other for a bit, until the teen asked "Now what?"</p><p>"Well, your birthday it's in a few days, around that time you should recive a letter from a wizarding school. This year should also be Adam's first year, am I wrong angel?"</p><p>"That should be right. You'll totally be friends and making trouble together in no time. He also is not as bossy as he was with the Them now that he knows he's a wizard like Anathema and not only the antichrist"</p><p>"Wait, the antichrist is a wizard and I'll go to school with him to learn magic?"</p><p>"That's about it, right"</p><p>"The Dursleys will never allow that"</p><p>"Then you should stay with us. We'll tell the school and have you legally adopted in a jiffy if you say so"</p><p>"For real?"</p><p>"Of course. Those guys idiots for not treating you right"</p><p>"Shouldn't you at least tell me your names first?"</p><p>"Didn't we? Oh right! I'm Aziraphale and he's Crowley"</p><p>*<em>"Niiicccce to meet you"</em>*</p><p>"Are you... Is that another language I'm understanding in some way?"</p><p>The ex snake, Crowley, grinned, showing small fanged teeth. *<em>"Yesssss, you sssomehow undersssstand and sssspeak Parssssseltongue"</em>*</p><p>"Stop using a language I don't know dear. You know I hate that I'll never be able to understand you if your snake form"</p><p>"Sorry angel"</p><p>"Don't worry, it can happen to forget, I know you are excited to talk with someone who's not a snake in parseltongue"</p><p>Harry watched the interaction with a grin "All right. I'll stay. Anything is better than the Dursleys"</p><p>"Perfect!" Crowley snapped his fingers and... Nothing happened apparently. "Your things are in the apartment and the Dursleys won't miss you. Also, you are officially under our care now"</p><p>"Just like that?"</p><p>"Just like that, yes"</p><p>Harry watched him with stars in his eyes. This was more than he had ever wished for. He knew that this meant his life was now going to be completely different. For the better!</p>
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